When God is Small

Dear reader, 

Have you reached a point where you just didn’t care?

Where your failures are so apparent and you just want to hide?

When you’ve reached the end of your rope?

Where you just can’t make sense of things and therefore want to just quit?

Some Saturdays I feel this way, I don’t understand what’s so important about Saturday, but after a week of work, drama, and even conflict I just want it to be Sunday. 

I just want to rest. 

I want to relax and seek time with my savior. 

I don’t want people, I want God. 

This Saturday I didn’t care. 

I didn’t want to put forth energy. 

I didn’t want to worship God or even seek him out. 

I wanted to sleep in. 

I wanted to watch my show. 

I wanted to play my games. 

“I wanted…”

As you can see my pride led me into Saturday. 

I chose to do what I saw as good and right in my own eyes and carries it out. 

I quenched the Spirit, I didn’t want to hear him, I wanted to sing my own songs to myself. 

I had nothing on my mind, and I was hell-bent on doing just that. 

In retrospect it makes me kinda sick how Saturday went. 

Not everything was wrong by any means, but if our days our measured at all according to worship towards our God I would have had a D- if anything. 

I may have been homeschooled, but I know that’s NOT a passing grade. 

I know full well God doesn’t grade our performance in this life. There won’t be a sticker chart in heaven by all the days I prayed, fasted, read my bible, and even served others. 

If God did this he’d be antagonizing over every small detail and choice of our lives, and grading us for what purpose? To show us yet again that we fall short of holiness apart from Christ’s blood?

No, I don’t believe God does this. If he did that’s not a God I would want to serve. A God that constantly reminds me how much I fall short instead of focusing on the grace I desperately need each day, that is the God I serve. 

Coming back to Saturday, I think it needs to be redeemed. 

My mind, my heart, and my body is being redeemed by the minute, and I believe time can be and is redeemed as well. I wouldn’t say Saturday was used right, or spent wisely, yet God in his infinite wisdom and love redeems the minutes. He can’t and will not waste time, (He’s outside of time anyways, so this construct is impossible for Him) 

I leave you with this. Don’t waste the time you’re given, but even when you do, remember that God loves to reveal himself to us when we fall short. 

And that is good news. 

Sincerely, 

Your Fellow Saturday Waster

-Mitchell