Letting the Old Self Die

Dear Reader,

This story is from the Fall of 2023.

I’ve spoken many many times about how much of an impact a camp out in Michigan has had on my life and my walk with God. This story involves a retreat my siblings and I drove out to help serve at. 

The retreat is called Exiled. It is a retelling of the story of Exodus and the slavery of God’s people under the reign of Pharaoh. 

The students who were there that weekend were to be treated as slaves. 

We were instructed to do as follows. 

Don’t laugh and hang out with them. 

Yell at them. 

Bully them in your words and deeds. 

Make them feel like a slave in Egypt. 

Sounds interesting right?

I knew what I was getting into, I’d worked there long enough that I knew how the scenario would play out. But what I didn’t know was how much God was going to work on my heart. 

I love to act. I love to over-exaggerate my emotions for comical reasons for anyone watching. But in this scenario, I was supposed to be over-the-top angry, bitter, and cruel for 3 days. 

This broke my heart. 

Growing up my anger and bitterness was my greatest downfall. When I was mad everyone in the house knew about it. Over the years of high school and into adulthood God broke me of that habit and instilled peace and grace within me. 

I was asked to ignore that life change and hurt people once again. 

The point of the weekend itself was to teach the students how to place their hope in God even though the circumstances were not fun. To still believe that God and His Gospel were true even if none of the adult staff were encouraging them to do so. 

After the first night of yelling and being cruel to the students I went to bed exhausted. I knew something was wrong between God and me, so I woke up early to make things right. I told God that I wanted to do his work. I was here to serve. But I wasn’t going to compromise my convictions of how I should act and result to my Old Self again. 

I created a persona and I ran with it. I was Guard No. 2, I was silly and annoying, but overall charming to be near. I was placed at a station where we had them make creations out of clay. I loved seeing the students' creativity and poking fun at them all day long. I would throw out some subtle jabs at Christianity to see if any of the middle schoolers would defend what they believe. And one student did so very well, so I broke Character and encouraged him to continue to do so throughout the weekend and after the retreat.  

The rest of the weekend disappeared. I thoroughly enjoyed what I was able to do, and I did everything in my power to kill The Old Self as he had the potential to creep up. 

That is the flesh ladies and gentlemen. Once you have accepted the free gift of salvation in Christ alone, the flesh is still very much alive. That’s why Jesus urges us to crucify the flesh, pick up our cross, and die daily to our Old Self. 

Everything you used to be known for before your life was changed by Christ, don’t go back to that. You have the power of the Holy indwelling Spirit of the living God. Who is so much greater than your dead stinking flesh. 

I write all this to urge you forward in walking in a way that glorifies our Lord. Be holy in your speech and all manner of actions. 

Don’t resort to your old self. Don’t even consider sin as a valuable option. 

Sincerely your brother-in-arms, 

-Mitchell