Is It Okay to Be Mad at God?

Dear reader, 

I don’t know about you, but I get angry at God quite often. 

It comes and goes with different seasons of life, and the trials that inevitably come my way. 

Some days I just can’t take anymore. Correction, most days I can’t take it anymore. 

Realistically I can’t hold the world up. 

I don’t have the strength or capacity to protect the ones I love in the ways I want to. 

My life doesn’t always impact others the way I’d like. 

So much anger can boil up against God. His sovereignty throws me for a loop. 

The past weekend I was angry, so I went on a walk with God. A majority of the time I was yelling at Him, I was sarcastic and disrespectful. I mocked Him here and there, looking back at it now I was trying to get a reaction or a response from God. 

As I walked the look I crossed paths with a pastor who recognized me.

”How is Mr. Vine doing today?” 

“Not well, but hopefully by the end of the walk I will be.” 

I kept moving, not really in the mood to share with another human all the anger I wanted to direct at God instead.

He can take it, right?

Inevitably our paths came together again.

“I know I’m supposed to pray for you but I don’t know why.” 

I let him pray for me, I tried to listen to the prayer but admittedly my brain was in a million different places at once. 

Yet, there was one small thing that he said that was burned in my heart. 

“God I know you care about Mitchell…”

That right there was what I wasn’t believing. It is so easy somehow to not believe that God cares for us. With all the trials and conflicts we face on such a daily basis it’s so easy to think that God is passive towards us. 

Sure he listens. 

Sure he’s there. 

But does he actually act on our behalf? 

Some days it just doesn’t feel that way at all. 

I’m here to say that I left that walk believing that God cared for me, yet that doesn’t mean I woke up this morning thinking the same thing. 

It’s a choice I need to make to believe that God cares for me, His faithfulness and goodness towards me is no small thing. Yet I need to make the call to trust Him in all things. 

God actually cares about us. 

Sincerely, 

Your Fellow Sometimes Angry and Doubtful Brother

-Mitchell