I Am Not a Wise Man

I am not a poet. 

I am not a wise man. 

Yet by the power of the spirit 

I can do all things that God demands. 

I came into this world a mess

A pile of matted cords

A long list of future scars and emotional wars. 

I was nothing but loved by my lord. 

I was the oldest son

The easiest one to blame or overlook

My family was a religious one

Our lives lived and died according to the Holy Book

I was in church as often as possible

In the pews or the classes

The image of perfection I crafted was less than desirable. 

My view of life was still blurry from my imperfect glasses. 

The church hurt me more than they helped

I received mental abuse, and spiritual scars 

They rarely showed me the love that their Savior demanded

I took a long look at them and decided I never want to be what they say they are

I ran and I cried

I put walls around me and sat still

God walked up to my door and replied

“Can I show you my will?”

It was madness. 

I never knew love like this all consuming fire

It was pure joy, no sadness

I knew I needed A savior unlike what I knew prior 

That day I picked up His cross for the first time

It was heavy, the splinters went into my back

The blood was fresh as if it fell from his head onto mine

It was then I finally understood the heart of surrender I knew I lacked

Since then I have struggled along the narrow road

There’s few that travel it sincerely, that concerned me

Many would follow with me for a while then jump ship to some glorious new abode

I had to keep marching on, evil attacked my heart and body like a raging sea

Today I can clearly say I have purpose

My waking moments have evolved from the TV screen to the scriptures

A day not lived for God is worthless

A life that is redeemed will forever be greater than all earthly treasures