How to Embrace a Servant's Heart

Dear reader, 

I sit before you know writing to you about a subject I’ve brought upon myself. 

Weakness. 

At the beginning of this week, I was listening to the sermon on Sunday and my pastor was emphasizing the importance of prayer and fasting. And how they go hand in hand. 

I knew my heart and mind had been rather sporadic going into the new year with all of the life changes and constant trials I’d been facing. So I considered the truth he was speaking about and decided to put them into practice. 

On Sundays, I typically disappear. Most of my day is spent alone in my room with God, and there is a lot of peace and solace to be found there. 

I do my best to seek Him and His word out in order to plan out the week as best as I can. Normally all the plans shift and change around, but scripture still talks about a man who plans is a wise one, so I’m not going to stop. 

I must say that my one plan this week is the only thing that has consistently gone right. I don’t know how many of you are aware of the Serenity Prayer, it is quite popular in AA meetings or Celebrate Recovery settings. But there is one line that hit me today. 

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference…” 

I’ve been fasting this week to emphasize the first line. “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.” 

In the line of work I find myself in by God’s grace I am learning with each day there are so many trials and conflicts that I face that I cannot control. 

Whether it’s a technology error, WiFi or internet issues, or clients or interviewees that back out with no explanation. 

There are so many outcomes so far out of my hands that it can be quite infuriating. God knows that. That’s one of the reasons I’m sure He’s led these past few weeks in this way. 

He doesn’t want my expectations of this season to be all sunshine and daisies. Yes, He is my Heavenly Father and my king, yes he provides my needs, and he protects me from most harm. 

But he does not ensure the path is an easy one to walk. 

I am fragile right now physically. That was something I could control, fasting is the conscious choice to make yourself weak in order to deepen your reliance on God’s movement. 

God is always moving. He doesn’t stop working all things around us for His glory and our good. Whether or not it feels that way or not. 

I did not want to roll out of bed today. I didn’t have a lot of strength, and I didn’t want to ask God for any. So I lay there, wanting to go back to sleep instead of spending time with my savior. 

As the sun started to come through my windows there was a deep sense of regret. How could I deny the love of my savior?

How could I possibly imagine laying here and moping would bring glory to him?

If I was fasting for His glory, how could I do nothing with the strength He gives me?

My time was bittersweet with him this morning. 

It was hard, but it was worth it. 

I had to repent and confess my insufficiencies and lay down my pride. 

Fasting this week has helped me to watch God strip my pride away. There is so much within me, and yet His Spirit is constantly at work. 

Today I urge you to be weak. Make it this way intentionally. God exalts those who humble themselves before Him. 

Go and be right before Him. 

Know where you fall short. 

Be weak. 

Sincerely,

Your Weak Dude

-Mitchell