Can You Trust God Fully?

Dear reader, 

I don’t trust well. 

I have been hurt, backstabbed, and thrown under the bus more times than I am willing to attempt to count, and that number will only increase as my days do on this earth. 

I was confronted by God on my willingness to trust this morning. He poked and probed my heart, and even pricked it a few times cutting down to the root of the problem. 

I can’t control God, his unpredictable nature confuses me, and there lies the issue. 

I can’t control God, so I don’t trust Him. 

This discovery hurt to admit to him, he knew why I withheld my trust of him, and I replied with…

“I trust you sometimes, just not all the time.” 

As if my excuse was valid. 

My life has been a turbulent sea since the day I was born on this earth. There were days that it could be considered calm, mere hours if that, then the seas would rage all the more. 

Sin has truly done a number on the creation and all who dwell in it. Mankind, vegetation, and creatures alike, none of us escape the effects of the Fall. 

I’m not blaming Adam for my inability to trust God, that is truly my choice. Some days I make the effort to rely on Him fully, and others I take the helm of my life and steer it the way I want it to go. 

I’m a horrible pilot. 

As pieces of my life fall apart I have to make the decision to look at the Author of the story and trust the intentions of My Heavenly Father. 

He cannot make mistakes, it’s outside his character, yet he is willing and capable to bring about the hardest trials you can imagine, for he truly wants us to trust him amidst the walls falling upon us. 

He wants intimacy with us. Intimacy can only be found with trust and love as the foundation. His love for me is so vast, and he has no reason to place his trust in me, a fallible human who will continually choose the wrong things. 

But his love is perfect. 

He is trustworthy. 

Now do I choose to trust Him? 

Sincerely,

Your Doubtful Friend

-Mitchell