Can You Disrespect God?

Dear reader,

This letter might hit a soft spot. Sometimes it’s hard to admit a hard truth. Prayerfully continue and ask God to search your heart as you read on. 

December 20th, 2021. 

I had lived in the Christian Frat House for about 2 months. I was getting comfortable in this new living space, doing what I could to honor God with the space I’d been given. 

In my new room, I was so excited to set things up. I had been blessed with two closets, one for storage and the other I had marked as my War Room. 

(A War Room if you don’t know is a small space where you set aside to be with God. A holy place where you go to war for the sake of those around you, to cover them in prayer and intercede on their behalf. The idea is based on the movie of the same name ‘War Room’. if you haven’t seen the movie I would recommend it. It has some cheesy ‘Christian cliches’ but it still honors God.)

I had purchased a corkboard, I pinned up the names of my friends and family so I could cover them in prayer in that season of life. I loved being in there. I would run there every morning. 

My job in this season of life was working at Christamore. The rehabilitation center for juvenile delinquents. I was tired emotionally, physically, and emotionally day in and out. That atmosphere would drain me, I would have to depend on God to stand up throughout the day. If I didn’t I would surely crumble from the weight of the sin and hurt cooped up in that building. 

This specific morning I went into my war room and I laid down. 

I brought a pillow and blanket with me. 

“God…” 

As soon as the conversation started I fell asleep. I was curled up with my pillow and blanket lying down. 

I don’t know how long I was asleep. It didn’t feel like long. 

One thing I am certain of is this. God woke me up. 

Loud as thunder I heard clearly ring throughout my ears. “WAKE UP!” 

I jolted up from the floor kicking over the lamp next to me. It took me a minute to recollect my thoughts and understand what I had done. 

A place that I had set aside for prayer and worship was used for a nap. 

I went to go meet with The Upmost High, and I ignored Him. 

I went to enter the throne room and stopped at the door. 

I had intentions of honoring God. And I clearly did the exact opposite. 

I was so ashamed. I threw my blanket and pillow out of the closet and sat there in silence. Taking in what I had done. 

“I am so sorry God. You shouldn’t have had to wake me up.”

We talked for a long time that morning. I couldn’t help but see my intentions being so skewed beforehand. When the pillow and blanket came into the War Room, I had made the cognitive choice to sleep instead of speak with Him. 

Now. I know there will be many people who would say “God should give you grace. He’s a loving Father.”

You’re not wrong. He did give me grace. He showed me what He wants from times of prayer, focus, and dedication to Him, to not be distracted and fix my eyes on Him. He continues to give me grace every day, but that doesn’t downplay how I clearly disrespected His name with my actions and especially my heart’s posture. 

Since that day I haven’t laid down in the war room. I’ve considered it, I have even felt tempted to lie down. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it again. 

Between you and I, I haven’t been in my War Room in a while. Not to say I don’t pray. But I have gradually drifted away from that discipline lately of entering the war room on behalf of those around me. 

This letter is as much for me as it may be for you. 

What does prayer look like for you?

I don’t mean to say you need to go find a closet and pray in there only. But do you actually set apart a time and a space to seek God’s face?

To enter into His courts with thanksgiving and praise. 

I have become lazy lately, or comfortable I should say with reading my bible and praying on my bed, which has become increasingly easy to nod off. 

If our God is holy. (And He is.) Then shouldn’t we treat Him with our utmost respect and authority? Shouldn’t we actually treat Him as our Lord and King? To regularly go before Him just to praise His glorious name. 

It’s hard to do that as you're laying comfy on your bed, wrapped up in a blanket.

I pray this resonates with you. I ask that you would pray for me as I continue to learn how to abide in His presence, and how to view Him as I should.

I’ll leave you with this thought. 

If we are to pray, to seek out the presence of our Holy God. What posture should we have externally? And does it match our heart’s posture?

Sincerely Your Fellow Disrespecting Son,

-Mitchell