Before You Apply to that Pastoring Job

Dear reader, 

This letter is meant for your encouragement. It shares some details about my story that are not all together pleasant. But know that I share them with grace and forgiveness, in hopes for the story to lead you to do the same for others. 

I more or less recently applied to be a pastor. 

Who knew right?

I didn’t want to. I fought with God over it for hours. 

He was right, I never was. 

The church was offering a position as a creative and worship arts pastor. 

Well I’m creative. 

I love to worship. 

Seems like this could work out very well. 

Yet I told God absolutely not. 

The stress and pressure for full time ministry in this capacity is not something I wanted. So I fought with him about it. 

I was working a 12 hour shift at the factory one day, I fought with God for 10 hours, then he finally asked “Can I talk now?” 

I begrudgingly shut my mouth. 

God is so kind and graceful. 

He saw my anger and my bitterness and he met me with gentleness and correction. 

“I know you gave me your long list of reasons for not applying. But if I only had one reason to do that, would that be enough?”

Ugh. Sometimes it is so frustrating when God is always right. That means I must be wrong, unless I agree with him. 

“Go apply. See what happens.”

That evening I reached out for an application, and looked it over. 

The requirements were within my reach, they clearly laid out that they did not require pastoral degrees, must the person must be of Godly character and desire to shepherd the flock in that area selflessly. 

I laughed out loud. “Wow. I could actually do this job. But I still don’t want to God. I’ve seen churches chew up and spit out pastors. I don’t want any part in that.”

“Son, what If I want you to?”

“Then you’ll have to change my mind.”

I’m not proud of this conversation. 

I won’t ever stand on this hill, but I have a stubborn heart, and at the time I came to the conclusion that if God wanted something it would happen, whether I agreed with Him or not. 

I went and met with the two pastors of that church separately asking for wisdom if I should apply, both unanimously said yes. 

Dang it. I was hoping they’d say no. I went home and I sent in my resume and a letter of intent. God really tugged on my heart, it was evident His hand was on this, and my excitement grew as the days went by, I had a peace that I couldn’t explain, I met with many mentors and friends asking them to pray for the path that appeared to be lit before me. 

I got a message 2 weeks later. 

“We received your paperwork and we’d like to schedule an interview.”

Oh boy. The feelings of joy and dread filled up my mind. 

I responded back with availability and I didn’t hear anything back for about a month. 

Odd. I thought we were going somewhere with this. 

The next message I receive is “Is there a time today I can give you a call?”

Uh oh. 

I took the call and I was told that the elders had denied my application due to not having any biblical degrees. 

(WAIT. Wasn’t that an optional requirement on the application Mitchell?)

Yes. It was, that’s very observant of you to notice that detail, well done. 

The man who gave me the phone call was deeply grieved by the information that he hasd to pass along, but I could tell it wasn’t his choice, and I didn’t want to fault him in anyway. 

Boy oh boy was furious with the elders though. 

Anger is a very fickle subject for me. I’ve struggled with it for most of my young life, I’ve used it on family, and friends, and I’ve even had to leave jobs due to not having the self-control over it in some seasons. 

I know that God is does not enjoy when we are dealt with unjustly. He delights in justice, but He also is right by our side when we are dealt with poorly. 

My anger was through the roof that day. 

I remember wanting to talk to God about it all, but I couldn’t say anything. 

My mind was in shock. 

How could God’s shepherd’s treat me so poorly?

Easily. They’re humans that don’t always make the right choice. 

I fit into that category as well. 

I’m no greater or worse then them, we all fall short, I should expect this. 

I thought God would change their minds. 

He still could if he wanted to. 

But I don’t know if He will, and I don’t know if He wants to. 

Did they make the right choice?

It’s not up to me to say. I believe firmly that the best pastors don’t have pastoral degrees, but they step up to answer the call when God lays it before them. 

That’s what I did, and I was denied. 

I want to be willing to step up when God wants me to do something, no matter the cost. 

That doesn’t take away from the hurt, but I’ve had regular visits with The Great Physician, and He says I’m in good hands. 

Sincerely Your Fellow Reluctant Pastoral Wannabe,

-Mitchell